Today has been a rough day in between my ears. I do not want to die, not like this and not for a long time. I find myself wondering, hoping and praying the new doc will have another shoe to drop, a good one that points to a variation in the diagnosis from Mayo. A diagnosis that I can live with. In between my ears today the voice that is not on my side says I am not doing enough, and if I were this would all go away.
I am pretty sure the roughness of this day comes from the new doc tomorrow who is to review my file and radiology films and then begin administering chemo this week. What I really want is for him and his colleagues to find a better diagnosis. I am asking for another opinion from this oncology practice near Desert Banner Hospital. Let go and let God, AND, I can ask.
That's all I can write today.
Bill
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
If you think negative, you will sink negative. When that "voice" gets going, that's when you need to get up and get busy doing anything that won't allow the voice to roar louder than what you're doing. If you can't get up and get busy, remember your wife, your daughter, some experience that you love to remember and recall it in detail, write it down, record it. Even pencil lead can roar mightier than the voice!
ReplyDeleteRemember the ponderings we used to sound out? The one in particular, probably has a new light on it for you:
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors
call what they do "practice"?
Be good to yourself, BB! Be especially kind to yourself, as well!
LYL!
Suz
Basic Text Page 86.
ReplyDeleteRecovery beings with surrender. From that
point, each of us is reminded that a day clean is a day won.
Loveya',
Rose
I love you
ReplyDeleteThere will be bad days, but remember you can always start the day over at ANY time. Be good to yourself!!
ReplyDelete