Each new step . . .

Since January 7 when this seemingly interminable process of diagnosis started, each new step has been highly stressful the day before. Some steps more than others. The "bad news" steps have of course been a kick in the head immediately after, but I am feeling the pre stress right now. I have an appt with 3rd opinion doctor in 3 hours, and I am a bit wound up - tight in the shoulders, back, and around the eyes and my tongue just will not loll in the bottom of my mouth. My mind is spinning like the globe going from light to dark.

I have not written much about the human rock of support walking beside me every step of the way. This is as tough on Jacki as it is on me. Still she walks beside me with a love I have difficulty even imagining. Her eyes are so beautiful and I am filled up each time she turns them on me - shining, hopeful and full of love and acceptance.

I talk about her frequently. It is easy to use words that lift her up in the eyes of others: Intelligent; skilled; compassionate; “her 11th step kicks my a**; “She lives this Program.” “She sets her boundaries”; “speaks her mind” and “stands up for herself”. “She can dish it as well as take it.” “She makes me a better man.” Maybe the most important thing I can say is she is an authentically spiritual woman who eccentrically walks as she talks letting us know we can do it too. And I love her.
Bill