Home for chemo

Did not want to come home from cabin in the woods. Walking there is meditation on the natch. So quiet, with only breeze in the trees and birds to hear. Gently calming, healing, easing, smoothing and maybe most importantly, only mildly mindful of cancer. It was click on the refresh button of our love for each other.

So now, it is Monday morning and at 1:20pm I see the doc again to summarize what we know, and go over the chemo plan. Unless he has uncovered a surprise, I will walk out of there with a script, fill it, take it, and begin whatever journey treatment holds. All the positive thinking, prayer, meditation, action, love and good vibes you have sent my way are about to finally be supplemented by modern medicine.

Jacki asked me what am I feeling? It's jumbled - from confident to dread. From relief to anxious. From completely loved to completely alone. It's me going through this, and it is "vuja day" - I've never been here before. So of course I feel fear and trepidation, but so many of you have shared with me your own experience (sorry, advice does not help much) or that of someone close, that I also feel trust and faith that this will work and be bearable. Chemo is my friend? I'll let you know.
Bill