Tuesday, July 27, 2010

scheduled to fly

After what seems an interminable wait (actually about 2 1/2 weeks) I am now am ticketed to fly and scans and such are scheduled. Fly this Sunday, tests Mon, Tue, wed and first dose of the new drug on thursday. Fly home on Friday.

Largely at my insistence Jacki is not going this time due to finances and it looks like this trip will be relatively simple. Even the reaction to the new drug is supposed to be mild. If it is not I can stay longer. Still, she is torn up and I beg your help for her anyway you can, ie, calls and prayers.

I have been on edge more than in a long time. I have been self centered, impatient and opinionated, needing to be right and sacrificing kindness. I have not been gentle with myself nor others. Sure, much of the time those statements have not been true, but it does harm to myself, others and my relations with you when I act that way.

Falling short of my lofty desire to walk through this challenge as a Spiritual giant leaves me with high levels of oft' times uncomfortable humility. I am a human who has learned to ask forgiveness from my God and you and get back on my side. Thank you so much for your love, compassion and patience.

And God, thank you for this opportunity to help find a cure for PRCC.
Bill

2 comments:

  1. Oh, Bill, I am so happy for you! At last you're getting started on the path to a cure. Give Jacki a big hug for me. I love you both so much!!!

    Mom

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  2. Bill, you know how you feel when you're under water, and you need oxygen real bad, but you can't get to the top to take a breath, and you're really starting to suffer because you need oxygen real bad, and the pain is coming, and you're starting to panic, and you just want to scream but you can't because that would mean opening up your mouth and that would let water in, and you just know that you can't stand it any longer going without oxygen and you've never been at a worse point in your whole life. You know what I'm talking about? Pain and suffering beyond belief? Way beyond belief? You know? Well... I've just described what your cancer cells are going thru now that the blood supply is being cut off. The suckers are dying. Long live the Geee!

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