It's okay

Left the doc's office a few hours ago. I already told a few loved ones that the new scan showed no growth. Not quite true. The increase in size is measured in an approximate number of millimeters. It works out to a curent rate of growth that will take over 5 years for any of the nodules in my lungs to double in size. The doc is going to pick 10 of the nodules and graph their changes in size from first CT scan last January through each of the 5 scans since then. I go back to see that graphing on Jan 11.

Jacki and I left his office, both I think in an absorbing mode. She went to work. I ran a couple errands and came home intending to get a few things done and go to a 6pm meeting. Instead, I have holed up in my cave feeling numb and unsocial with my phone ringer shut off. Have not talked with anyone for over 6 hours which is a near record for me. My emotions are in a slow eddy, swirling but I think going down no more.

I have tried to find others with my particular brand of cancer, "Metasticized Papillary Renal Carcinoma" for those who are technical. Wikipedia says there are about 2,500,000 new cancer diagnosis a year in the USA. Of those, 50,000 are new kidney cancer diagnosis. That is about 2% of all cancers. The doc says there are only 3000 or so new cases a year of my little specialty form of kidney cancer. I would really like to find even just one of those 3000 new patients.
Bill