The Long Way Out

"The Long Walk: The True Story of a Trek to Freedom", a book made into a recent movie called "The Way Back". I saw the movie and now I am reading the book. 5 men, later joined by a young woman, escape from a Russian Gulag during early WWII. They trek 4000 miles through Siberia, through the Gobi desert, and over the Himalayas to freedom in India. Along the way they nearly starve and/or die of thirst or heat exhaustion or freezing to death.

Their symptoms included extreme weight loss, dysentery, diarrhea, scurvy, edema and frost bite leading to gangrene. Several of them fell in their tracks and died in the desert - all were emaciated and ravaged by multiple nasty maladies. What a miracle that any survived. Good movie; good book. Inspiring to me.

My symptoms today fall far short of what they made it through. They felt excruciating bodily changes that remain beyond my experience. My symptoms have been rough and near debilitating but if they can do it, so can I. Screw the possible plan of stopping drug trials. Rather, continue the search and try possible bridges and secrets to the regression of my rare (?) form of cancer. Those bridges just might be around the corner of medical research and I believe I can hang on, trudge along and survive my own "Long Walk Out".

Here's the update: I am officially off the drug protocol on the past 10 months. The protocol included Avastin to reduce blood flow and Tarceva, the "Little White Pill" of poison that I started April of 2009. Those drugs slowed my cancer growth for awhile, but now the growth of nodules in my lungs and the metathesizing into my bones prove that it is time to go another direction. I have a lead to 4 other drug trials holding promise for breaking the structure of my cancer cells. I could start on of those "first in man" trials. Or I can start a combination of blood starving drug and a different poison drug, maybe Torisel. Tomorrow Jacki and I meet with my oncologist here in Scottsdale to gather info and discuss possibilities with him. I am penciled in for two infusions tomorrow, but we have decided to wait until we have done a bit more research. My body can use the rest.

The past 3 weeks since my last posting have been the greatest swing of emotions since my diagnosis in January of 2009. From despairing and despondent, hopeless and depressed, to hopeful and full of faith, all cycling within the same hours or even minutes - that has been the ride since blood in urine began in April. Turns out the blood was not from an infection. It might be a symptom of the blood supply drug, but more likely is my biggest tumor pressing on the connections between kidney and bladder. The bleeding is now sporadic and I think correlates with how much water I drink. More is better. The bleeding was traumatic and discouraging at first but now I am becoming used to it.

Meanwhile, I am feeling pretty good and today my chin is up. The short break from drugs is a welcome respite. My bicycle is calling my name - maybe just a short ride.
Bill